Because I SAID SO!   Don’t make me turn this car around!

Calm down Ted Turner 

Eventually, Count Chocula curries enough favor at court that he is created Archduke Chocula.

Good thing he never asked her to get his prescriptions filled.

Katyn says hello.

Literally, by definition, not WASPish at all. 

So that's why Gavrilo Princip opened the box...

It’s like knowing James Caan wasn’t Italian.

What is it with you people trying to stop me from robbing graves?

This is far less egregious than any time the Olive Garden tried to pass itself off as Italian food.

I dunno, the brand is Italian. It never said “this specific box is from Italy” or whatever, it said that the brand is Italy’s “No. 1", which I believe it is. Anyone who thinks this statement is claiming that every box is produced in Italy is making a weird leap.

It’s annoying that not liking The Last Jedi means people assume you don’t like it because it had a diverse cast as opposed to the fact it was nonsensical and made established characters act out of character. But there was a *good* Star Wars movie with a diverse cast — it was called Rogue One! And featuring nearly all…

Or Sinatra.

All decent actors are alike, but every terrible actor is terrible in his own way.

I do have a colostomy bag and will for the rest of my life, and let me tell everyone, if a doctor says it will happen to you unless you take their advice, you take that doctor’s advice.

This would never work in a tipping culture like we have. You need to free up the table so it can be turned and the server can continue to make money. Otherwise you are literally stealing from someone who makes their living off tips. Don’t be obtuse.

Make mine a

I dunno, the one time I tried walking with endless money and resources it actually weighed me down a bit. Those buckets of silver dollars were a real bastard. 

Reads as:

Jesus, no. Not because it’s a bad idea (but also because of that), but because any road that opens up even the slimmest possible chance of anybody with any pull in the industry, even tangentially, thinking “Hmm, what are Friedberg & Seltzer up to?” is a road that must be avoided at any cost.