I will buy your book, Jolie. Because I read your column and you are the only breath of fresh (snark-free and still compelling to read) air in all of Gawker media.

Whatever you do, DON'T OPEN IT.

THIS IS THE BEST VALENTINE'S DAY PRESENT EVAR!!!!

I agree, Snapchat is super fun. After so many years of texting/IM, it's nice to see people's faces. I think there's a steeper learning curve for folks who haven't spent their entire teenaged years with a smartphone in their hand, but once I got the hang of it I could. not. stop.

My only sports experience is the time I was in a production of Damn Yankees.

I don't understand what's wrong with my Tinder. I keep getting matched with women who love sports, oppose marriage equality, and apparently have no life ambition beyond being a housewife. One woman's actual tagline was "Future housewife — willing to cook, clean, and make sandwiches for a ring. Swipe left if you voted…

I really wish there was one woman that was like, "Fuck yeah! Photoshop made me look awesome!" Maybe there was and they photoshopped her out for not fitting in the with sappy music.

ok

Thug.

STARS FOR EVERYONE! ALL THE STARS!

...and by angels I mean FBI agents.

Finally I can use this gif.

As a man, I'd just like to congratulate these intrepid researchers and inventors.

Maybe I'm just feeling cynical this morning, but to me this reads like an attempt to keep cashing in on women's sexual insecurities now that we're at the point of empowering women to pleasure themselves (well, starting to, anyway). Like, "oh, anyone can come, but can you FOURTH LEVEL POWERSLAM ULTRA PLEASUREDOME…

@Oranges w/ Cheese has 2 cats! ahahaha.: Legal for me, ma'am! U.S. resident with a prescription. :)