Problem is, where exactly do I put something as thick as 10-15 bills? I don’t have the wallet for that, as mine is a thin leather wallet made for cards. After five bills, it looks like I’m walking around with an erection in my pants! (No, I don’t put my wallet in my back pocket like a conservative scumsucker either.)

Anyone else notice that deadspin has so many goddamned bouncing ads and videos that appear and disappear that this entire domain isn’t worth shit anymore?

So, he was fisting her both vaginally and anally, or did his finger feel like a hand?

Nothing wrong there at all. The game came down to the last two seconds, and though Missouri never gave up the lead, SFA brought the wood from start to finish. It shows how far that the Mizzou team has come in two months because they work on finishing games. This one they finished well.

Don’t laugh. There are hundreds of billionaires in the US dying to park some of their money into a chance to take on the faggot-Trump owners of the NFL.

Goddamn, the Cards with their out-of-state owner have given up after fleecing the fans dry. The roster is older than a nursing home registry. Jeebus.

I’d vote for Lavar over that sickass Cheeto any day.

The lesson of 2017: Never talk to a woman. Never friend a woman. Never have sex with a woman. Never attempt to have sex with a woman. Never help a woman — call another woman to help her. Never ever be alone with a woman anywhere. Never hire a woman. Never work with a woman. Never talk to a woman. Whatever you say can…

Let the cuckservative snowflakes go watch their sons’ soccer games! The rest of us will enjoy Aaron Rodgers ripping the spines out of his opponents each week.

Jump in that pool, get hepatitis. Let those faggot cops get it.

So cops who MURDER people while wearing a goddamned US flag patch on their sleeve is NOT dissing the flag/US? Funny how the rich people get to set the rules, and then make sure they never apply to their own tribe.

If you see any one of these anti-american pats fans in this video, punch them in the face as hard as you possibly can!

Forget the fact that newton was never any good except in college, where you can spray balls all over the place and it doesn’t matter because defenses are so bad. He’s a chump.

Have you ever seen Trump in person? He’s truly a fat guy, and his hips are extremely wide, hoisting a huge keg-gut. I couldn’t stop vomiting the first time I ever saw him in person.

Jamele, Shannon Sharpe, and Rob Parker are my heroes. F*ck your flyovers, cops, 100-yard wide flags, and all their silly uniforms. These three have bigger balls than all of them.

BULL SHIT. He hits 62, he’s the new king. Steroid fags don’t count, never did.

Do I get to confront “fem-splaining” at work without being fired?

Predictably immature of the author to repeatedly say how creepy the scene was, as if no one should ever think about sex until a certain age. GROW UP!

No, you don’t pay cops more. You pay them LESS! There’s no reason a cop should make $28-$42k for sitting in a car for 8 hours, two of which is spent eating inside restaurants. They really should be paid about $5/hour (and yes, I don’t believe in the min. wage). Cops only work 8-hour shifts unless it’s an extraordinary…

“Thank god?” There are no gods! god-believers do enough damage to the world already without implicitly affirming their superstitions.