I just want Billie Lourd to be happy.

The dying poor children in the U.S. don’t give him the glorified media attention he craves and thrives off of.

What pisses me off most about President Dipshit inserting himself in this story is that per his proposed healthcare reform, the children suffering like that here at home would be left to die while their parents are saddled with a copious amount of medical debt.

I’m drinking a beautiful (ahem bottle of) Rosé. I recently started a job at a fancy schmancy winery and get free/discounted wine by the buttload, so I’ve been quite content in my new perks. Even if it’s part time....which also works because YAY I started my own business!

I am now being PAID...PAAAAIIID to make art and…

She’s the fondant on his shit cake: looks good but tastes like crap too.

Fuck him. If he truly wants to live life according to a book written thousands of years ago then he should fucking ride a donkey to his destination.

Also, teach your child to call for you by your first name, or by an uncommon nickname, in case s/he needs help. Being at the pool surrounded by a hundred kids screaming “MOM! Watch this!” will not help you recognize your own child’s calls if you glanced away at exactly the wrong second.

I would also like to add that parents shouldn’t rely on floaties of any kind either. The water wings slide right off their little arms. With the rings around their waist kids have a tendency to flip over and get stuck with their head down in the water.

It’s not victim-blaming. Otto made a tragic mistake that I’m sure he regretted for as long as he could. I don’t blame him for it - I’m sure many of us feel incredibly lucky to be alive after mistakes we made in college.

Weird, but it helped: I recycled all my ill-fitting, torn, or uncomfortable yoga pants and replaced them with all identical pairs of my favorite style in the correct size. Now every time I reach into my “cozies drawer” I know I will pull out my favorite pair, because that’s all there is!

“ I appreciate your work. But ...” Hahahahahahahahaha. Why don’t you just say “I’ll say something nice at first so I don’t sound like I’m being a jerk (but I’m really being a jerk).”

The fact that airlines have a lap policy doesn’t mean it’s necessarily the right way to go. In our case at least, paying the extra to get our baby her own seat that we could put her car seat in was worth it for how much more relaxed she was when, from her perspective, it was just a slightly weird car trip.

Cosby answer a series of yes and no questions to establish that his counsel was still acting with his consent.....

As a fat guy who goes to the gym all the time, watches what I eat, and generally wants to be ripped, I feel so terrible for that woman who was the victim of the assault Dani Mathers perpetrated on her. Going to the gym, and the locker room even more so, is not about mocking those who aren’t as perfectly fit, and…

There are entire university departments dedicated to urban planning and design, and America, though young as a country, has made contributions to the history of architecture with greats like Buckminster Fuller. American design experts are in international demand, creating environmentally friendly plans for quickly…

Yes, it’s scary. Yes, I worry about the world my kids are growing up in. Yes, I worry about them being able to breathe air and not die in a nuclear attack. But this is life. It’s been horrible - and wonderful - since the beginning of time. We just have to live.

Does Barron’s t-shirt indicate he has been offered a position as advisor?

ARE YOU IN MY BRAIN

Thoughts:

Counterpoint: Hanson, Jonas Brothers, Good Charlotte..