Please stop you’re embarrassing yourself.

I really struggle with this too.

I imagine it was a pretty noisy scene coming down the road which probably tipped off the phone-holder. Still, a large dose of luck was at play here.

What a piece of shit non-apology. Why doesn’t she just say, “I’m sorry you thought my words were hurtful.”

Yeah, once upon a time, “Italian” was not white.

I was just thinking this same thing. Only sixteen-year-old girls think this “I’m a teeny weeny petite little girl” shit is cute. I’m surprised she didn’t grab one of their jackets, put it on, and then exclaim how big it was on her underfed, anorexic frame.

This photo sums up her as a person: tasteless, oblivious, desperate for attention regardless of whether it’s good or bad. Not surprised.

There go my plans for investing in my own ABORTIONS ETC. franchise, a subsidiary of General Electric.

I feel the same way about Christian dads who are obsessed over their daughters’ virginities. It’s presumptuous, perverse, and invasive. Like, stop thinking about your teenage daughter (not) having sex, creeper.

I think I was about the same age, but hadn’t hit the alt-rock scene yet. My first real memory of Nirvana was when I was thirteen and saw that my best friend’s way cooler older brother had written “Nirvana” in Sharpie on the wall in the garage where their parents let him keep his drum set.

Never been a huge Britney fan, but she looks amazing her. I watch this video for gym inspo.

I know. I think this proves how insufferable I always thought he was. “The establishment”? He’s the host of a family-friendly game show where his main job is to make bug-eyed faces to the camera so the lobotomized audience members who watch that crap can know how to feel. He’s not exactly Malcolm X. I’m sure he’ll be…

If any anti-vaxxers take this as proof that autism is linked to vaccines and don’t vaccinate their kids because of it, fine. Let their kids die of totally preventable illnesses. They deserve it. It’s called Darwinism: survival of the fittest. The “fittest” in this scenario know enough to vaccinate their kids. The…

Yeah, I’d probably defend my mom to the death too rather than reassess my view of her. That’s tough for a kid.

The one time I liked her was when she took offense to Joe’s use of the phrase, “This is so gay” at the dance studio. Because honestly, only twelve-year-old boys who don’t know what they’re saying say that shit.

I really hate to hate on women’s looks, but WOW she looks rough. Like maybe she’s led a lifetime full of eating disorders, smoking, painkiller addiction, bleach abuse, and alcoholism. And it’s so sad because she clearly cares about how she looks. And it’s only going to get worse for her.

And it sounds like he’s writing for shock value in a Catholic school student newspaper. “HEY EVERYONE! I’M TALKING ABOUT SEX! AND I’M DOING IT SO CASUALLY! HOW EDGY AM I???!!!”

All the interesting kids shop at Hot Topic. All the boring ones with nothing to say for themselves go to Abercrombie.

I’m eating cookie dough for breakfast at 4 pm.

I was once desperate for a production assistant job on a T.V. show. A PRODUCTION ASSISTANT JOB. I went around to anyone that would listen to me whine and beg and asked them to talk me to up the HR rep. It was the lowest I’ve ever sunk. And it turned out the job BLEW HARD and DID NOT FURTHER MY CAREER IN ANY WAY, just…