Everyone in the series is Jaquen H’ghar. EVERYONE.

“After some deliberation, I said Cousins, assuming money is no object.”

Because all three of those things are fuckin awesome

Tremendously high. Probably the highest any odds have ever been. And there have been some very high odds, really high.

This man will not shut up or dribble.

Wiseau serious?

You may not have gotten sick, but I sure as heck just did.

My dog’s food legit looks and smells like Dinty Moore beef stew and I maintain that I wouldn’t even have to be officially starving to heat it up and hope for the best. I’m fairly sure the only real difference between the two is salt content, and the dog food is probably better for you.

You can only grind up, boil, and press chicken heads and feet into cubes so many times before the texture is lost.

Maybe that’s a thing they’re gonna do for now on.

Or maybe they just want to try it out? They’re funny that way.

Facts, schmacts. Let’s just spread stories that support whatever narrative we want to push.

Have a grudge against someone ? Well now you can sink entire careers with a social media post that you then quickly delete.

If this story is real, you have made evening.

(stops after 5 feet, breathing heavily and sweating ranch dressing from every pore)

It comes conveniently pre-ruined from the store. You just take it home and throw it directly in the trash.

Like anything else, it’s fine when used appropriately.* y’know, veggie dip, or maybe with cheese sticks (‘cos if you’re already eating fried cheese, ya might as well go full honey badger.) Fads like these are just annoying, but thankfully usually short lived.

Goddamn, you’re dumber than I am

Our senior English class went to NYC in 1990. We were leaving FAO Schwartz and the tour guide directed everyone towards Trump tower. Most of us had no idea who he was. Suddenly a pigeon shit in my head. One of my teachers went with me back to the bus to help me clean it up.

All I know is their appearance early on Colbert’s late show. And it’s worth a watch.

I love Samantha! Bizarre story: I did a freelance piece interviewing her and bought a training clicker set from her, and trained my cat to ring a bell for treats. A video of it helped me win free tickets to some cat video event. Then the AP interviewed me as part of their weird story on the whole thing, which went…