There truly are two Americas.

Beats explaining "baby elephant walk" to a grand jury.

It's the chaebol of corporate, military-industrial, surveillance state, neo-fascist interests manipulating the global media and economic landscape to usher in a new era of modern feudalism, stupid!

Norm is one of those guys who can really split a room in half. The same joke can leave one person crying, hyperventilating, near death by laughter and another person saying 'I don't think that's funny'. He did this 'Dirty Johnny' joke on Howard Stern (I think it's on youtube) about his 'Uncle Terry' in Viet Nam that…

I knew it, MacDonald! You've been tricking us this whole time!

Given the kind of things you're into, I think you'll be way better off with just Bannon. The Kush would look better in one of those wigs though.

Hi Buzz,
What's the deal with Kushner? Seems like Trump is throwing him at everything that he (Trump) has zero interest in wasting time and money on - middle east, justice system, opiates. Bannon on the other hand has strong positions on the issues that Trump talks about, so it seems like Bannon's the guy. What's…

I, (ahem), take a little poetry at the community college.

Dig it, Bloods, this doth maketh all y'all crazy, Bannon's like Jayz *adjusts crotch menacingly* Keep it down mutinists, ain't tryin' to hear these putinists, I'm like Iago - bangin' at Mar a lago waitn' for my fate, to make stupid great, why, what is pomp, rule, reign, but earth and dust? We live how we can, yet die…

Quayle gives this same speech at the Olive Garden every night after his third chardonnay.

Where's LLoyd Bentsen when you need him? Trump is to Andrew Jackson as (make your own and have fun). What I'm trying to say is that I worked with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy, and Donald Trump is a fucking asshole, man!

Gonna alienate some folks. Here goes. Two words: Plastics! If he really wants to roll like Tricky Hickory, let's see him dismantle the Fed.

They finally asked him to sing the A above middle C. Christ, it's not Puccini.

The Brits tend to use Jamiroquai for that joke. Either way it works.

He got a better offer from the polka band at the Friday night fish fry. They love a guy who's not too self-conscious.

Is this not the very definition of super-villain?
*Cuts to Dr. Evil ..twelve MILLION dollars…*

It's a shame that you had to point that out.

Watch out for the yellow stuff.

Um, sure..

And where does he get a little more than a year? It's like he's never seen a calendar before.