They have it wrong. Men save and women spend.

OMFG, he actually did. Now that's funny.

Paul Schaffer is a hack musician. Everyone knows it. Nobody cares, and he fully deserves every dime he made with Letterman. Jean Baptiste is all musician. Problem is, he’s one of the quiet guys. Musicians can be some of the funniest people in the world, but they have wildly diverse personalities. Many of them are…

You've changed, Bartleby.

He'll always be Turd Ferugson to me.

These are just old people who vote Republican. I don't think they really follow the news, unless you count having Fox news on in the background following the news..

I'll pinky swear alright, but I don't think Trump will need much prodding to invade sovereign territory anywhere, anytime. Shit, if Bannon gets his way, we'll be redrawing our borders along lines of the Holy Roman Empire..

The year is 2081. An unassuming white, Jewish centenarian exits his building and ambles onto 8th Avenue. The weekend traffic is light and he has no trouble hailing a cab. “Step on it, and stop at the Deli.” The cab driver, also in the throes of senescence, relies on lipreading to earn his fares. Next, on to the movie…

It's a good thing Pakistan has nukes, right? You know, to keep things from spinning out of control..

Yowsa. I'm very glad I asked. Thank you!
EDIT: I would hate to see someone pull a Shahab over there (just havin' some funsies, sorry Lauren!).

It's all fun and games until you realize you've lost the judiciary branch to a group of fascists. People out there voted for Trump "because he's funny" - yes a Trump voter told me that. And all of the other insipid reasons. Meanwhile, corporations are people, and voter discrimination is legal again. It won't be long…

You're on Tor, right? Got a good VPN?. Americans can be pretty dismissive of this sort of fare, but I think that mentality is changing quickly. Thank you for re-enforcing that there is nothing going on in this horrifying work of 'fiction' that hasn't happened, or isn't happening somewhere in the world as we write. I…

I haven't seen any shrift given to the poor bastard who got gang murdered by a full covey of angry birds! Now, before everyone gets all flustery here, I am not saying that the crime attributed to him doesn't merit penalty (although no crime should merit that penalty). I didn't see a trial though. For all I know it was…

♫ Playas wanna play
Lovas wanna love
I don't even want
None of the above
I want yo poopy poo
Yes I do
I want yo poop in my food! ♫

♫ The guys they all dig me
I'm like Eleanor Rigby
There's a face in jar by my door ♫
- Pinkard & Bowden

…stupit
*slowly shakes head*

Holy Frith, not Simon!
*jumps up and down excitedly. Slips and bangs head. Cries.*

That fat jew will never make it in this business. You know why? Because I goddamn said so.

Well who else's goddamn voice would it be?

All that and a bag of chips?