Like so many other Jezebel attempts at parody this falls flat. Perhaps because it’s so close to the stuff that is normally published that there isn’t a huge differentiation. If the Onion published this I’d get it. But Jez is no Onion. They can’t do this and expect people to get it due to so much manufactured outrage…

To be a joke it’d have to be funny, and it’s not particularly funny, just absurd. And too real for comfort.

On one hand: yah they are. On the other: most crap people write about themselves is masturbatory and self-congratulating. I just got finished (sadly) with a piece by a man who came to the realization that “women improve your life” beyond that women have holes to fuck.

Is this Jez trying to adopt Gawker’s signature snark but just... Not really hitting the mark? This reads like one of Gawker’s bad weekend op-eds that fucked a Yahoo April fools day article, and this was the baby.

Whether it’s satire or just moronic rambling, it’s not successful as entertaining or enlightening or enjoyable writing. Just very lazy and not even smirk-level humorous.

It’s such poorly written comedic satire that it makes me upset.