Honestly, I can’t focus on Buddha gnome or hula girl. I’m still trying to understand where your hair line begins and ends. The long swirl of hair is something I’d only previously seen on cartoon heads. The FB video was mesmerizing.

Rut Roh!

May the force of this minivan be with you.

When I see a gallery of photos that consists of less than every angle of the car it tells me the owner is listless or hiding something. When the owner only takes one 3/4 view of the car’s exterior and takes it twice while it resides solely in a poorly lit garage but is willing to get on the ground to take a poorly lit…

You’re the perfect owner for this Porsche then.

This guy would bring Marilyn Monroe back to life just so he could give her bigger boobs, a sleeve of tats, body piercings and a Mohawk.

They call the drag strip “proving grounds” and it’s even crooked. The first thing mentioned is setting out to improve 0-60 times.

Hey Kandall, just so you know, some idiot used your name while making a crappy concept drawing of a 2013 Toyota Venza.

There’s nothing to see here, everyone go home.

I might change my name to HappierTeslaOwner.

Is there a trending algorithm Deadspin (minus Drew) uses to suggest when a Hot Taek should be loaded up? Knowing Marchman (or Ley or Samer) would make this post is about as surprising as Arsenal staving off relegation.

And 2023 is also the year LADA shows up on our shores with cars that can “talk” with senior Democratic and Republican cars.

Sacre pipe du crack.

What do you get when you combine the ugliest Porsche body with a crappy Mazda engine?

Having a massive gas guzzling Rolls Royce SUV testing where the polar bears roam is perfect.

Uncle Jed’s Towing Service Garage does NOT constitute a factory.

To paraphrase David Byrne,

This might be the best Trolling since they pretended to be Will.i.am.

Old Man HappyTeslaOwner is only offering a mint condition keyboard with working comma key in exchange for the Passat dope.

While I appreciate the effort to improve aerodynamics with the moon discs, the environmental damage I’d incur on the world as I use three tons of bleach to clean out the hot tub doesn’t even it out.