I really hate when the Kardashians get excited about “going on vacation”. Your whole fucking life is vacation.

As Lindy West says, “No, not every opinion is valid and worthy of my time.”

Well, you shouldn’t drink Corona because it tastes like piss, but I don’t think there’s any actual piss in it.

I enjoy p in v sex but typically I have to have room to get my hand down there if I want to finish during in-out stuff. BUT. I briefly dated this incredibly skinny guy a few years ago, right? I was super attracted to him , but it was pretty dang vanilla sex so it was shocking to me that I came every time during…

I’d only feel better if I knew that everyone out there who wants a sex life has the sex life that they desire.

For real. I love me a chunky man.

I mean, is she willing to try a gag?

There’s a lid for every pot.

I’m sorry you’ve never experienced pleasure strong enough that you can’t control the volume of your sex moans.

Who was her handy man?

Also, who complains about people fucking? I love that stuff.

Yeah I remember snooping through my mom’s drawer once and finding a sexy bra that had red velour hearts all over it and a whistle in the middle that sat in between the boobs

This tale is a better start to Teen Week than the Lil Yachty write-up, to be honest.

Good lord. I was like 26. I hate my life.

It wasn’t all about her, because I’m pretty sure fingering a girl at 13 would have caused me to spontaneously orgasm as well.

I remember having my first orgasm at 13. My boyfriend was fingering me and I was so CLUELESS that I didn’t even know what an orgasm was. I was getting pretty turned on and then all of a sudden everything felt goddamn AMAZING for a few seconds and then it tickled and I made him stop. Took me 3 more years to figure out…

Stay in your lane GMA. This is E! territory.

Allison Williams and her husband look like twins, they even have the same smile. So creepy.

I buy most of my baby’s clothes second hand. It’cheaper and since babies usually only wear their clothes a few times, there’s minimal if any wear and tear. An added bonus is that the clothes have already been washed a few times

“The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.