He actually wants to play football?

I cannot abide. It’s nearly impossible to burn a burger. Hotdogs are easily torched to ashes if not monitored properly. Even burned burgers taste fine. Burned hotdogs taste like an ashtray.

Not veteran here, but can’t we as fellow human beings and patriots agree that a fine pair of boobs adorned by the stars and bars is a good and right thing? 

Your post just made me realize that it’s probably a good idead to ignore anyone’s take on the anthem sitting/kneeling controversy unless they’ve served. This includes talking heads on TV, random joes, and the players (whether standing or not).

+1 Hot Pocket.

I hope you know I hate giving you this star.

The ruling on the field stands.

I really don’t care much one way or the other whether the dude plays or not. He doesn’t really seem to care one way or the other either.

OK, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Aldi with a rented shopping cart.

This stuff is amazing. It makes the best manhattans. Gives me a big ol’ drinkin’ boner.

Once again, Einstein’s brilliance provides the solution: The resulting quantity of bitching and moaning would quickly cause the fabric of spacetime to collapse inwards on itself, thus creating a black hole of nagging that consumed everything it its path.

Got you again: Real men have neither! We’re raised by wolves and live in cav- gotta go...my wife is yelling at me to get off the computer and help her clean the kitchen.

Bah. Only hipsters season their pans. Real men cook eggs on unseasoned cast iron, throw the eggs and the skillet in the trash when they chemically fuse together, and have a six-pack and leftover fried chicken for breakfast instead.

I’ve actually found Emeril’s line of non-stick pans to be quality cooking vessels that last a long time (10 years and counting for one of mine that is used almost daily), and they’re a pretty good value to boot. BAM!

And replacing him with Kaep. The hilarity of heads exploding in the supposed enlightened blue states would be comedy gold.

Agreed. And when a theory continuously makes predictions are contradicted by actual data (*cough, global warming, *cough cough), the theory is generally discarded. See also, Steady State Theory, the Geocentric Model, and the earth being flat.

Wow. That’s the shittiest song I’ve heard since Drake came on the radio on my drive home.

Joke’s on you: After you wrote your comment, I wrote a study based on the firm evidence of my uninformed opinion that the sun would have vanished sooner if I bought your rock.

Listen, Random Internet Guy: My source, a rich fat dude who ran for president one time and lost and has a carbon footprint the size of a perpetual tire fire and whose credentials on climate science include being to son of a US senator, told me a bunch of things about some stuff. So you can take your rational…

Touche. But can you prove that the more severe hurricanes that didn’t occur weren’t the cause of climate change not being a factor?