Every time I see him, I wonder how a man with zero muscle mass could be so freakishly good on the court. He looks like I stretched my five year old daughter.

And some weights.

Kristaps bears a striking resemblance (albeit much shorter) to our own Drew Magary. A long lost cousin, perhaps? I say we put The Shirt on him, and let Deadspin vote!

I gotta go with a Walmart. It has guns, drugs (pharmacy), cash, and alcohol. It’s the food pyramid of bad life choices!

Pulp Fiction taught me to have a cool statement on my wallet. Bad Motherfucker doesn’t really suit me, so I went with “White, Late 30s Dad Who Never Carries Cash And Is Unlikely To Have Bills Larger Than a $5".

One star so far? One fucking star? I have lost all faith in Deadspin commentors.

Video replay in soccer sucks.

I’ll tell you what, this guy right here is something special. I mean, some guys talk the talk, but The Deuce really walks the walk.

We have immediate job openings for skilled technicians, and offer competitive pay and benefits!

Wow, I’ve found the exact opposite. I generally keep a Don Johnson style beard or longer, but occasionally shave it all down. I find the One Blade gives me near razor closeness on those occasions. My big favorite is using it to shave my neck area pre-shower instead of a razor. Super fast!

Wow, I’ve found the exact opposite. I generally keep a Don Johnson style beard or longer, but occasionally shave it…

Own and will vouch for. This can be your only razor.

Own and will vouch for. This can be your only razor.

Opening scene footage of the tire spin made me want to vomit from motion sickness. So thanks?

I’m just surprised there’s enough room in there what with all the posters of dick-kicking and such.

It totally is. I conquered 50lbs of groceries in a single trip yesterday. I figured such a feat of strength would at least be worth a BJ, but the missus just shrugged it off.

Let’s find out in the next episode!

Dammit, did I just get greyed on lifehacker for that comment?

Kristen: As an avid biker, I’m begging you. Please don’t buy a kickstand...your friends will abandon you, your family will disown you, your pets will run away, and all your houseplants will die.

I’m just disappointed that every time I try to make steamed vagina, it doesn’t turn out right. Maybe an idea for the next Skillet post?

The color man is a fucking monster.

We’ve all been there to some extent, bro. But yeah, cutting back on the “me time” is a good move. When I was having problems, I found it was self perpetuating, eg. worrying about it happening would make it happen.