And he can’t bust out and he can’t break free

I know I’m not the only one who clicked to see what Halle Berry looks like covered in slime so I have to ask: does Instagram take an insufferably long time to load for anyone else?

He needs to make these situations real so that he’s not caught in a lie. It’s the only way.

I have a friend who’s been told to “fuck off” by Sean Penn on multiple occasions. Apparently you shouldn’t say hello to Penn if you see him on the street.

They’d better not drop Corncob TV!

Personally I stopped watching about halfway through Branagh’s adaptation of Murder on the Orient Express as it somehow managed to make the source material boring.

Yeah, I mean I’m sure he’s a great guy if you can look past all the rapes.

Leah Remini is OT 5. Masterson? Didn’t even make it to the OT levels.

Obviously Bryan Fuller is gay...

If he had made it to the OT levels this surely never would have happened. Hail Xenu!

Frankly, I’m more interested in seeing Nicholas Cage as Fu Manchu.

On a related note, is AV Club still publishing AI-written articles? Haven’t seen one recently.

“I was, like, really freaking out...”

Honestly when I go on vacation, I always worry about something like this happening to me.

Want to feel old? The movie Shrek came out 22 years ago.

Nice. Wonder when AV Club will start doing proper episode recaps again.

I’m sure they all had to sign waivers, so it’s perfectly fine.

Where does Steven Tyler’s statutory rape fall in this top 40 list?

Yeah, Commander Data talks too much to host a show like this. Geordi is a better choice.

“Back-piercing stunt”?! It’s called a suspension and people do this all the time.