At this point I just want a vaccine that lets me forget all of 2020.

I still remember Mad Magazine’s parody of Fraiser. It started off with something like “Remember that character you didn’t like from Cheers? Well now he has his own show!”

Well that’s it. I’m never eating at Jessica Simpson’s house ever again.

Be excellent to each other, dudes!

Until we finally get to the bottom of the payphone at Best Buy, I’m not interested in any more Serial.

Is Avril Lavigne even a father?

Gotta (have deep pockets to) catch ‘em all!

Wait a sec, live comedy shows... during a pandemic? Am I missing something here? Surely nobody could be that stupid.

Sounds like he should write a movie about this ordeal. Truth is stranger than fiction!

Who are we kidding, we all know it’s a request to get Biden to reinstate Trump’s Twitter account.

Can we just skip to the next movie where Willy Wonka fights The Joker?

Guess that means Bernie wasn’t really dead after all. Maybe he was just in a coma.

Really should have gone on the freebie section of Craigslist. Remember the three Rs, Affleck?

They need to get The Jim Henson Hour up there. It’s not currently available for streaming on any platform.

Twist ending: The animatronics were not out to kill anyone, it was Nic Cage’s drug-fueled delusion all along and in real life he just destroyed some poor kid’s birthday party.

Wait a sec... the passes ranged from $600 to $1400? Is this how the federal government came up with the stimulus check amounts?

I don’t get what the point of announcements like this are in the era of streaming. What am I supposed to do with this information, put it in a calendar? Why doesn’t Amazon just announce it the day it’s released?

“Just another dang hunk, who cares?”

You just know he’s going to try to post from his family member’s accounts sometime tomorrow and get them banned as well. This is truly the gift that keeps on giving.

Sean Hannity certainly looks like he’s on an all-carb diet, so I can see why people would believe this.