It takes a manly man to cry . It takes an even manlier man to cry while covered in tiny tiny kittens* so you should get some kittens just in case.

Nope, I can not see him without mentally replacing him with Richmond from the IT Crowd.

“Your necklace hanging from my neck, the night we couldn’t quite forget, when we decided to move the furniture so we could dance, baby, like we stood a chance. Two paper airplanes flying, flying.” <blood sprays from enormous fake nipples>

I keep waiting for Miley Cyrus to bring back Elizabethan ruffs and giant embroidered mutton sleeve gowns. Then I can buy knockoffs at Forever 21 for ten bucks.

I would have this cloak. I will use it to hide my secrets my secret lover, or my secret and scandalous pregnancies.

Every outfit in this movie is my fashion inspiration.

Maxi dresses, or as we called them through history, dresses.

That’s amaaazing! You should’ve kept it on there. “Is that a snake on the cake?” “Oh, no, it’s a decorative fondant swag. It’s a design element” “It’s....it’s eating the cake topper”

Go Slugs!

There are accounts of men pulling out oranges from them to impress the ladies, according to Rabelais

Jelly gets literally pressed through a sieve to filter out all the bits, jam doesn’t. Preserves have even bigger fruit bits, which is why they are the best of all.

My real body is naked and lumpy and strange and I’m fine with it.

Waitwaitwait.....silver velvet high-quality leggings?

I wear Spanx while giving engineering lectures to all-male audiences. I find the squeeeziness to be really comfortable, and it keeps my posture good during long lectures. I wear corsets for ballroom dance, because it looks good, and if I don’t, I get crippling back pain after an hour.

Perhaps a little on the edgier side, SF has a bondage-themed coffee shop. http://www.wickedgrounds.com/

I think I’ll call it “Broken Spectacles” (in honor of the Tilted Kilt pub chain)

Your waiter quietly mutters “can i....can i get you a coffee?” in an accent slightly British, and slightly continental. Your eyes make contact, just a little too long, but then his glasses flash, as he turns away and blushes. He brings you your latte, there is a single heart drawn in foam on it.

Gods bless Emeryville. I used to work there.

Is there a tree or a person over the age of 30 in the background?

They do say "brains"... but their beaks are stuffed with delicious sheepflesh, so it's a bit muffled.