We got here when someone made a bargain for the Cubs to win the series.

Protestors shutting down highways are shitty

I did see a mention that this only started happening AFTER the Large Hadron Collider got turned on...

Brace yourself for a bumpy ride, mate.

Why do you think beards have been making a comeback!

Black magic. I’m not even sure if I’m joking.

Lord knows no one is going to hold that against this particular illegal immigrant.

Observation: Donald and Melania never kissed each other. They air kiss each other (several times) then regular kiss others. Body language says they can’t stand each other.

MABA: Make America Bane Again

Take that back! The honey badger is a glorious animal with much better PR instincts than the short-fingered crybaby.

It’s almost as great as the King of the Birthers getting upset about “fake news.”

With a Republican-controlled everything, I’m assuming I will have to teach myself self-dentistry.

Anyone else find themselves constantly doing that thing where you start a rant, decide you need to stop because you’re going to make yourself sick/have a rage stroke, and then 10 seconds later start up again because you just can’t stop?

Maybe the reason he’s pissed off is he’s not being pissed on?

It’s so appropriate that the de facto leader of the so-called “anti-PC movement” is someone who absolutely cannot take a fucking joke.

Every so often I’ll remember that he’s going to be POTUS and it takes all my self control not to go on a sweary rant. And I’m not even American, I can’t even imagine how bad it is for you guys.

“How is this real life?” will never not be an appropriate response to anything that happens for the next four years. Fuck. Fuck.

On a serious note, how do you psychologically repatriate a kidnapped child with her biological parents?

i’m trying to buy a house right now.

What’s wrong with Firework?! That’s one of my go-to Karaoke songs!!! (and yes, I’m a dude. What of it?!)