You sound like an art critic.

One of my facebook friends posted some article about how Trump is a jerk, and said in the comments that Trump is like Hitler. Then someone called Trump a cunt (valid statement). Then someone said “Wow. You liberals sure do get testy. I don’t like Trump either, but comparing him to Hitler?”

This. “This guy seems so douchey, I know nothing of him but that he’s a douche, I’m not digging deeper to find out what else I should know about this guy”.

We should all just act like unreasonable customers. “We want you to write about dating advice. NO! Not about dating, I said DATING advice. NO! DATING! Are you stupid? Seriously how hard can your job possibly be? Ig you had gone to college you’d have a real job”

I took it as “No one wants to fuck me”. I didn’t think he was saying “These lesbians won’t accept my D” because in my mind I don’t feel like Ellen’s audience is predominately lesbians. I feel like her audience is mostly women from all numbers on the Kinsey scale.

Maybe Spencer believes that J Law is accidentally falling all the time, and he’s mad at Mark for being a fall truther.

Now I have one more reason not to go to McDonalds, beyond their terrible food and horrible environmental practices.

I really don’t understand why you’re jumping down everyone’s throat for innocuous comments. You are being really mean to people who don’t deserve it at all.

THIS! My hair isn’t curly, it’s wavy, so I don’t brush it unless I’m about to take a shower. She is always telling me to brush my hair. Finally I said to her “I like my hair the way it is, I like it wavy, I don’t like it poofy, you don’t understand because your hair isn’t wavy. If I brush my hair it gets poofy. Stop…

Why. The fuck. Are you not allowed to have a tutor? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard since my shift at work ended (I work as a barista so I hear dumb stuff a lot from dumb customers who should have fucking tutors to help them learn how to order a god damned drink)

I saw that Jane Marie is moving to The Toast and all I could think was “Bread save her”. Kitchenette might run in my blood.

Yeah, I’m 29 and I only remember posters that were like “you can’t get HIV from a toilet seat. You can’t get HIV from a handshake. You can’t get HIV from a hug”. Also my mom is a nurse and instilled in me science, not fear.

Red Guard is a known troll. Disengage.

So, even if Kitchenette is slashed in the Gawker revamp, you’re still going to do BCO, right?

She is hilarious and a great actor, and is 10 billion times better than Dakota Johnson will ever be.

Why. The fuck. Is Rebel Wilson still in movies where she’s not the lead. Is she too funny? Is that the problem? Must be.

Engagement photos are the Anne Hathaway of wedding stuff. So much hate. But why?

No, I think the sun can give you freckles. I don’t really have freckles, but in the late summer my shoulders mos def get a bit freckley cause I’m not 100 percent on my sunblock.

How about moles? Are my moles cute? ARE THEY?

Nah, more like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.