Whom are you to tell people when to use what word? Whom elected you Whom master of Whomville? Whom cares about grammar? Just string a bunch of words together and people will get what you mean. Donald Trump does it, and he’s amazing. Whom would argue against that?

Trump says things about the women running for office that he doesn’t say about men. He accused Hillary of wearing a wig. He never said that about Ted Cruz. He said that Carly Fiorina wasn’t good-looking enough to be president. Despite the fact that Carly Fiorina is the best looking republican candidate hands down,…

Truth.

You know what? I haven’t seen a tiger in a really long time. But I think car-selfies are way worse. Like, dude. You’re driving. FOCUS ON THE ROAD.

And please, for the love of God, can that book be printed on post-consumer recycled paper? For the love of the trees!

I am 29, and Tinder is dumb for me too. Tinder is amazing if you like neck beards, fedoras, and dudes who are really really into magic.

Who doesn’t like babbys?

I know! But it makes me feel so bad! Like I’m one of those PUA douches.

I totally do that.

#notallfedoras

While I hate to be that guy...

THIS! “Gee, none of you took any risks! Why aren’t you taking risks”? “uhhh, you gave us nine hours to make a dress. I don’t have time to do anything but put in a zipper. But I put a zipper on it! Are you impressed now Nina? ARE YOU?”

I eat bacon on the reg. HOWEVER. I used to be a vegetarian. Meat grossed me out. Finding meat in my meal was disgusting. You do you. Them do them.Vegetarians don’t want meat in their food. Sounds normal to me.

Okay. Cool. I asked cause I work there and was like “uhhhhhhhh, I should probably know about the things we serve”.

YOU’RE CRYING I’M NOT CRYING EVERONE ELSE IS CRYING WHATEVER SHUT UP I CAN’T EVEN NO YOU ARE.

There’s a blackberry drizzle at Starbucks?

Okay, get ready to cry your eyes out.

Well, when you’re that close to the paradise that is Pawnee, you better be nice. You’re near an amazing dreamland of wonderment.

Jordan too. I grew up in the Chicago burbs, and when i was in JR high a lot of my friends caddyed for local golf clubs. In case some of you don’t know, 14 year olds can’t legally work in Illinois, so the clubs don’t pay them, but they could accept tips. It was appropriate to tip 50 to 100 dollars for their time (this…

Deets on Stossel or it didn’t happen! (Just kidding. he seems like a douche. But I still want deets)