Sometimes the best things in life are accidents.

“Should we be taking notes”?

Haha. I agree with all of the things you said. I did have some friends growing up, and one of my shitty friends (every time we had a fight she would turn the entire school against me and I would basically apologize for self preservation whether or not the fight was my fault) was like “I bought the new Hanson tape” and…

I know, right? Like there were kids in school that I didn’t like (they were lame or boring or whatever) but I was never mean to them. I just didn’t talk to them! If you think someone is lame, then don’t talk to them! If you think I’m lame, don’t talk to me! I knew that in elementary school! Why didn’t everyone else?

I completely agree with you. While of course pedophilia is awful for everyone involved, it’s not their fault. Acting on it, yes, that’s your fault. Having those urges? Not your fault. I understand being ostracized for admitting you’ve sexually assaulted someone. But to be chastised for admitting you have these urges…

I started kindergarten 2 weeks late because my birthday is 2 weeks after the cut off, but my mom wanted me out of the God damned house so she didn’t have to keep paying so much for daycare. So I start kindergarten as the new kid, and because I’m new, my teacher lets me hand out work sheets to everyone in class…

I did look it up, and I completely understand why people (hopefully) joke about that. Man, I wish Putin was just a villain in a Marvel comic and not a real person. He could be the Repellent Russian.

You know what I really want to see Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in? A remake of Starship Troopers. Come on guys, just think about it. Just... just think about it.

Um, he’s wearing glasses, so it’s fine.

I actually know nothing about Doctor Doom (besides that he is a villain or something in the Marvel universe) so I did not think that you were ruled by a comic book character. But I’m betting that’s a thing a lot of people say when they find out where you’re from.

Glad I’m not mansplaining. Besides, mansplainers never worry about whether or not they’re mansplaining. May I ask in what country do you reside?

I was just last night thinking about how I thought it was so fucking cool that Arby’s owned up to the fact that their food is commonly referred to as a dare to your colon during the daily show. Because I’m assuming the marketing team had to run such a scandalous ad by the CEO for approval first, I think he went along…

It’s awful. By the time the election rolls around it’s just like “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh who cares.......that guy, that guy seems fine”. Everyone’s so exhausted they can’t even remember anything anymore. “Is Rick Santorum the one who is barely able to put his shoes on without help from his assistant, or is that Rick…

A claw hammer is more useful than any politician I know. You can hammer in a nail, you can get that nail back out, you can gouge out your own eyeballs- very versatile.

Have you thought about applying fake horrifying scars to your face and neck for to make your visage less appealing?

Sorry, that reply was meant for that dick wagon above you, not you, you’re cool, we’re cool, stay cool.

I have been a nanny or baby sitter for a lot of families and they were all making an okay living, but not 1 percenters by any means. It was a bit of a hardship for them to have a nanny, and the LOVED their kids just as much as anyone else. Why would you think that people who put their kids in daycare love their kids…

THIS! That is exactly what I was thinking. Fuck people who don’t like people who speak a foreign language. “Go back to where you came from!”. You know what, YOU should leave. You’re the racist disrespectful asshole who hates America. Also- If that women traveled to France with another American, you think she’d speak…

So I had no idea that fat shaming his wife was a thing, I had never seen her. I looked up a picture of her and was like “.....we’re...we’re fat shaming HER?”. 1- She’s not fat, she’s just not skinny 2-she looks good (not that it matters women are more than their looks blah blah blah) 3- If fucking Chris Christie gets…

I hate Chick fill a( or however you spell it). I had it once and thought that everything tasted like burning. Then I found out it hates gay people and was all “Now I can feel really good about not eating Chick fill a” and I’m contributing to society and that’s all I’ve ever wanted.