I wouldn’t worry too much about the injured. In my experience, there are plenty of Chinese spare ribs to go around.

Even then it’s only five minutes. Five minutes of vigorous lobbying.

Pitaro was hoisted by his own Le Batard.

Norman uses the hashtag #OneoftheGreatestdayeverinmylifetime

Even the bull turns around like “holy shit, did you guys see that?”

Soon we’ll all be coo-coo for coco gauff

When they were the Hornets the NBA should’ve just done a straight swap of team names with Utah.  New Orleans Jazz and Utah Hornets.  Utah is the Beehive State!

On the bright side, the 19 outs in 6.1 innings pitched ties the record for most outs recorded in that amount of innings

Instead of banning the shift, why don’t they just ban the Marlins?

Possible NBA Finals Outcomes Ranked by Potential MVP Winner

1. Fred Van Vleet
2. Steve Kerr
3. Kevin Durant
4. Pascal Siakam
5. Kyle Lowry
6. Kawhi Leonard
7. Klay Thompson
8. Drake
9. Getting shoved in front of bus by Mark Stevens
10. Steph Curry

Me: *wrests Steve Blass, Steve Bannon, and Steve Kerr from my children’s hands and throws them in the garbage*

“You take an aspirin... and they hold it. They hold it between their knees because there’s no drugs. None. There’s a disease. Maybe you’ve heard of it. I think it’s called syphilis.  Very nasty.  And then there’s abortion.  But there’s no drugs!  So, you take an aspirin. ”

Finally, a video that belongs on Deadspin.

Soy loco por los Cornballer.

Triumph of the Wilmer Difo

Based on the video, I must conclude that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a Decepticon.

I bet he fucking planned it, too. Killed ‘em with Mallex aforethought.

Draymond Green should feel grateful that Boban has never been tempted to feed him a dose of his own medicine.

The ONLY problem with this ep is that it made the decisions in the previous two (killing that other dragon, Jaime fucking Brienne, etc.) even worse. For a show that was running out of time, they took some weird side-steps in this season that they pretty much walked right back last night. It’s just not efficient…