Just part of Costas' plan to give his perceptions less depth.

Having failed to exterminate all strays, Russia is now shepherding them onto the biathlon course

+ 1/2 + 1/2

y = mx + bs

Shout out to my boy Matthew. U got dudes walking on water n ascendin to heaven n errthing

The Denver Broncos would still be the Super Bowl favorites with Brock Osweiler at QB.- Jim Miller

Forged in the fires of Mount Doom

Great Taste, Less Filling

You could save 15% or more by switching to Costco

The last time a less-qualified younger brother got a big job in DC, everything worked out just great.

KIAping Up With The Kardashians?

I watch the NBA religiously, so I don't expect to see King James anywhere near the Truth.

Snyder's an asshole and always aspen.

Rose and Camp: Gilded, Stern, Are Dead.

God: [dumps snow on New York]

Yes, putting the black guy on sax and having it be the only instrument that doesn't actually function is much better.

+1 gallon of orange drink

For those interested, all the offending parodies are here:

Blackskins Celebrate "Salute To Service" By Honoring Slaves