On the other hand, it does explain a great deal for members of the Boring and Unattached Association.

I almost hope she doesn't, just to see the bloodbath it would (or will) turn into on both sides.

All I'm seeing is a badly tilted bookshelf that I feel a desperate, uncontrollable urge to set upright again and sort properly.

Because they're too white to know any better.

They could turn the challenge into an entirely new sex tip: the donut hole hula hoop.

Seriously? 8/pack? People do realize you're supposed to get a new one every 20 minutes, or if there's intercourse, then a break, and then more, right?

Maybe we've got it all backwards.

Separated at birth plot twist!

I'd almost forgotten about this. Looking forward to it.

They're probably speaking truly. I think it might be a another one of those odd gender-variable things, too - your husband would probably be closer to the mark if we were only talking about men.

I think it would depend on how you know them. I don't know if it would just be a reminder, specifically, but if I got something on Valentine's Day from someone I wasn't related to or in a relationship with, I'd find it more than a little odd. Even something from family would be on the stranger side, and I've never…

Do you offer hazard pay for particularly bad dates?

That apparently anything is fair game as long as it gets the clicks rolling in.

Lift it up, lift it up.

Let me save you some time.

Not this one?

Indeed. A gay Republican Chief of Staff? Inconceivable!

"don't have enough time to engage in too much scandalous behavior."

Receptionist sounds perfect: stable, traditional, and utterly nonthreatening. Mallwork might be an acceptable substitute, but would depend on the store in question - jewelry or fashion, for example, rather than something that might encroach upon traditionally male territory, such as electronics or sports gear.