Karl Lagerfeld is still alive?

I thought Mozart was the original Rock God

For generations my Eastern European ancestors have decried their big butts. Now that they’re popular again they are vindicated. Note, they come with big boobs too, it’s a balance thing, no falling forward, no falling backward.

I once watched someone take up the inedible garnish around a buffet because, as she said, “It’s on the buffet so it’s for taking.” So there, left at the table was the inedible imitation greens, fruit and coconut shells.

How did you hear about our pink drinks?

Who the fuck is this WHORE to tell others what to do with their bodies?

I don’t think these people really understand what Jesus was talking about at all.

What happened to leafing through Playboy and Penthouse?

Anyone who thinks they can get salon quality color out of a box at home done by themselves gets what they deserve.

His mother made him that way. And if he couldn’t get a gun, he’d just be some very sad boy with issues and not a murderer.

Fuck you asshole. I don’t have a gun.

Well I’ll tell ya, if the Republican run congress would spend as much time on guns as the do on trying to destroy women’s health care they might actually accomplish something. Other than that, PLEASE STOP BLAMING EVERY AMERICAN FOR THE MORONS THEY WEREN’T RESPONSIBLE FOR ELECTING. Thank you.

So does this mean I should be responding to all the random calls and messages I get, just in case it’s my soulmate. Because Alphonso Cordo from Nigeria sounds like a really nice guy and he wants to give me millions of dollars too.

You have violated my closet vag.

Eh, be militant, Viola. It’s your journey, not someone else’s. While I would have liked to feel that all women were represented in her win, I get that she needs to stand up for women of color. We do need diversity on TV in all aspects. Not everyone is white, christian and middle class.

Dad! You do not understand weddings. At all.

Whooooosh

I’m old enough to be some brides mother and no way in hell I’d wear those get ups shown to me by Prom goers.

She calls herself “BunBun”... and she gives makeup tips. I think you can’t get much more shallow unless you’re a Kartrashian.

Aw Caesar salad story was cute.