Nothing says, “While you’re here, feel free to rub one out,” like the SI Swimsuit issue.

I can verify this, as I have 3 kids but have only caught 1 foul ball, and have expended roughly the same amount of effort to achieve both.

I hear Markkanen is Finnish for Trubisky.

Guy catches a foul ball and doesn’t drop his beer = celebrated.

Counterpoint: It’s a foul ball off the bat of Jay Bruce in a meaningless game. 

Of course, my doctor tells me it’s somewhat harder to make another baby once you have a foul ball.

She snatched that kid away from him exactly like a person who just realized who they are married to.

What kind of monster tells Dolan not to quit his day job?

You can always make another baby, but there’s only one foul ball.

I was waiting for that ball hawk shmuck to swoop in and steal the ball and or baby.

You need a tag for ‘Kids ruin everything’

Dude catches a goddamn foul ball, and his wife gets to give him shit about it for frickin’ eternity.
There is no former joy from your past life that a baby cannot extinguish.

Gained baseball, gained free hand to hold beer. I see a win.

Maybe she didn’t see that he wound up with the ball?

I am straight-up never going to tire of the “getting hit by” runner. I hope on my deathbed, my demented, Alzheimer’sy self reads an article about “Early 21st century presidents, ranked” that ends “6. Getting hit by a Glorbulon Freighter.

Man, I haven’t seen a Chicago team fuck up a draft-day trade this badly since...two months ago.

Former Bulls fan checking in. I turned off ESPN at around the 7th pick and picked up a new habit called “binge drinking.” Then I flipped on a wonderful English film called “Attack the Block” and followed that up with the first episode of the Prison Break revival on FOX. The latter was dreadful, but at least it helped…

Fuck Gar Forman

The Bulls may have the worst culture in the NBA, but the worst culture in all of sports can be found in the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ locker room.

Did they ever address the bug where sometimes Gym would turn yellow?