“Tom’s job performance has been criminal. If I were the athletic director, I’d have given him the chair.”

*reads headline*

Hey Giri, please pass along this message to your bosses:

“Hey John, have you won anything yet?”

At the end of the game, Jim yelled out “Who’s got it better than us?” and in unison, the family screamed “Nobody!” and then everybody went inside and had pancakes and fucked. The Aristocrats!!

The police found texts from the “victim” asking her friend to say Zeke hit her even the bruises came from a bar fight she got in. The friend’s response was “are you asking me to lie?”

To be fair, most high school kids celebrate prematurely the second it goes in.

“Finally! A story about MAML’s getting fucked over on ice!”

As an Illinois State alum...

I choose to believe the committee left Syracuse out because Boeheim is a tremendous asshole, even by the NCAA’s standards.

You sound like my grandad talking about his time in Korea.

Forget Cleveland, Earth is Lebron’s market.

the best part about the cleveland browns is we all eventually die

I will stab you if that happens

22 new QBs! One of them has to hit.

I got no Browns jokes here. This is actually a decent deal for them. Especially if they cut him.

Washington practice facility

I like the part where Brown walked back to the bench and didn’t even look at Curry. And also the part where the Warriors lost.

You hear “deuce” enough times in one day and you start to fall in line.