Are you serious? That’s the only part I had to skip because I’m in a meeting and I knew I’d laugh out loud. Can’t wait to read it later.

All I want to see this weekend is the Seahawks running a dive up the middle on their first play from scrimmage in 2015-16.

Mayweather: Bullshit, you don’t “spell” roaming numerals, idiot. That’s the Greek way of saying THIS many [holds up three fingers].

Oh, please, Deadspin. Mayweather can’t even spell IV.

1. Show up.

If you don’t understand tennis, remember these simple rules:

Of all teams, Penn State should know that shit only stays buried for so long.

What did Ernie Adams do?

But if they cheated, how did they win? I mean it flies in the face of all logic! Cheaters never prosper or have NFL dynasties, playground knowledge right there!

At this point, I almost don’t care if this story is true (It is). Watching Pats fans live down to the stereotypes with hysterical commenting is reward enough.

“Johnny, you cheated on the SATs.”

God, I hope this is a serious reply. It’s perfect.

@BillSimmons

“How did we have such great success if we cheated?”

I love Pats fans. Their arguments are amazing.

This was exactly the tantrum reaction we all knew was coming. The most Simmons-y thing Simmons could’ve done.

This is cool and all but the Jets have played like 17 seasons in the NFL without fielding a quarterback so

There are so many ways this joke could’ve gone, most of them bad, but you threw that one with pinpoint accuracy.

+1 long touchdown

+1 tear running down my cheek