Next up on Shark Tank is Bob from St Louis with his innovative device that locks up free agents until they can officially sign....

Jordan could always just say “hey sorry Dallas, but I’m signing with the Clippers”. Instead he’s pretending like the Clippers are holding him hostage in his own house so he doesn’t have to say no to anybody.

I’m at DeAndre’s house right now and except for the gun and eighteen sticks of dynamite Steve Ballmer’s holding this whole party is pretty chill.

Doc Rivers pitch: I will sacrifice Austin Rivers to R’hollor

Apparently he’s the one who reached out to Doc Rivers on Monday with second thoughts? In which case it’s not entirely on the Clippers...

Doc: Come on back, DeAndre

2) Leaving

Pretty evil on Mettenberger’s part. The real master plan:

A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of a sheep. Time to attack the day.

Day: What the fuck did I do?

I'm getting pretty tired of JJ Watt's schtick.

Have they tried turning it off then back on?

“I wish I’d ordered a something in a bigger glass. Who is the bar back?”

Totally this except I’d spend the extra $15 & get global entry. The line we bypassed in FLL after coming back from Mexico was worth at least $100 right there. Trust me on this.

and as we continue on with the situation, then we’ll let it handle as it will handle itself.

As a recent dad, I hope that kid’s okay.

I’m pretty sure even Jesus would be banging her, Russ.

this guy should know by now not to get all fancy trying to score- just pound it in. I swear some people will never learn.