Fellow Hawks fan, and yes, I agree. If the Bulls make it past the Wizards (ha, no), I'll be sad to see Stacy King and Funk hang it up for the year.

Thank for saying so. Foley's calls are usually flawless. I think he'd be a great national guy. But I also love the work Doc Emery does for NBC.

I know, these subtle shifts from sarcasm to genuine anger and back again have been dizzying.

This is the first step in Ronald McDonald becoming a sentient being. Step 2 happens when he stops taking selfies and starts taking dick pics.

Aw, buddy. You're the guy not getting it.

Are you saying you don't cry when you jerk off? That means you gay, bro.

Well, that was an over-simplification. Baseball is a a too-long game, with a too-long season which undercuts any sense of drama or purpose for its first 14 months, translates poorly to television compared to nearly any other major spot, and which is populated by a diminishing amount of recognizable stars.

"I love your justification for allowing double standards to exist. Thank you for perpetuating the reasoning that "separate but equal" is a good policy."

Yes, because acknowledging that historical and cultural differences alter and effect the meaning of the words we use — you know, understanding that context matters —…

"Either a word is offensive or it is not."

Yeah, um, no. Words don't have universal meanings or universally-implied cultural significance. They mean different things based on who says what and in within what context.

Trying to universally tag a word as taboo or offensive is as equally narrow-minded as thinking that a…

Still not nearly as entertaining as Darnell Docket's twitter.

That's nothing.

Remember the time Ginobli assassinated a bat in cold fucking blood on live TV?

You don't seem like a douchebag; douchebags are rarely self-aware enough to ask whether they are a douchebag.

Douchebaggery relies on the mental dissonance required to watch an episode of "Entourage" and then not ask, "Was that a tremendous piece of shit?"

The only thing this is missing is a half-man half-goat playing electric guitar in the background and just.fucking.SLAYING.it.

The only thing this is missing is a half-man half-goat playing electric guitar in the background and just.fucking.SLAYING.it.

"Investigate 9/11 Howard Stern's penis ba ba booey."

Expert troll or did you just read "The Fountainhead"?