I’ve been in the field studying the American Plumlee population for the last decade. It is no easy thing. I’ve tranquilized and tagged nearly 300 adult male Plumlees during my time in the wild. I’ve counted thousands more on “trap cameras” set up in arenas and around private colleges. My best estimate as to the size…

Sumlin doesn't add up.

First Kyle transfers. Then Kyler is considering transferring. If Kylest goes, it’ll be really bad.

He’s more like a stormtrooper, missing all those shots.

They have that now, just in the form of texts from your dipshit fantasy opponent that week.

a toupee someone found in a garbage can and stapled to a sweet potato

Ass wants more butts

White Dude: Damn, that’s cold.

I’m assuming we’re talking about coming back in the Hindu sense, right?

Ejected? That seems a bit extreme. I mean, Jason initiated contact and he only ended up getting a slap on the wrist for it.

Columnist deeply concerned that a black woman gives him an erection.

Bowe knows benches.

Did we all forget that Dwayne Bowe sucks?

Oh hi Mark!

Drew, have you never watched porn? There’s no kissing in porn. Peter North never kissed anybody. he just left them with a face full of goo.

Hey

This whole thing is dumb, and Trump is dumb, and Brady is dumb, and I feel dumb, and you’re probably dumb. But I still have this dream that Muhammad Wilkerson sacks the shit out of Brady like 11 times on December 27 and then, standing over him, says something overtly Snipes-esque, like, “As-Salaam-Alaikum,…

Nonsense. It makes perfect sense when you realize that the login and password for both sites is “login” and “password.”

This is bullshit. No one was getting on Brett Favre’s case when he was a KGB supporter while in Green Bay.