That never happens when I watch the WNBA....

I, for one, welcome our new Pylon overlords.

Okay, but I think it's a lousy nickname.

The Dodgers picked the wrong offseason to turn off their “infinity money” cheat code.

Bengals have been getting fucked by white guys with castes for a long time.

He’s no Ryan Fitzpatrick, although he certainly looks like one.

Normally they would, but because it was in Mexico, the exchange rate is different.

Who brings a girl they’ve known for 3 weeks to meet the family for Christmas?

Manfred continued: “A mature understanding like the one Major League Baseball has with its official daily fantasy partner, DraftKings.”

Ironically, I won a bet on this decision.

You guys, I asked American Pharoah if he was upset and he said neigh. So, it's all good.

Chill out guys. In a hundred years, we will all be dust and bone, and American Pharaoh will be holding together a first-grader’s art project.

That happens sometimes with my cat.

His players offered to help him down, but Mr. Carroll passed.

Cons: Decision making

If ‘multiple cuts’ are his only injuries, he should be the #1 pick in the next draft. Also, look for a new ‘falling from 4th floor window’ drill at the 2016 NFL combine.

You lost the moment you trusted a ginger. Unless that ginger is the Wendy’s girl. I’d trust her with my lunch time options, and my heart.

Somewhere, I hope there is a St. Louis fan named Trey Torr.

Yeah, morans.

Got ripped off after getting change from a hooker once. Gave her a hundo, asked for $20 back, she hands it to me and I stuff it into my pocket. Got home, turned out it wasn't a $20 bill, it was syphilis.