“Croak, monsieur.” —Aaron Hernandez

Hopefully we hear nothing about his sore bae.

Little known fact: Sue Flay is actually married to Tom Brady’s buddy, Dee Flate.

“Are you a football player?”

In conclusion, the Giants will win yet another Super Bowl this season.

He’s totally getting traded to Cleveland for Johnny Manziel this offseason.

That sounds like almost every day at work for me except I’m the only one doing those things. But I only show up an hour late and only take a 30-minute lunch at my desk. If there’s nothing to do I’m commenting on stuff here. Sometimes I think about getting a new job but the freedom probably can’t be replicated anywhere…

Facebook is a way for lonely narcissists to continually assert their need to be seen and interacted with if only in the most distant way imagineable.

Yeah, well what is his passer rating?

About damn time.

Dalton's comment was soulless

This isn’t a beef. This is the soy-based gluten-free magical crystal no chemicals meat substitute version of a beef.

This should be a helluva stretch run, since Cincinnati and Carolina now have identical records.

I know gingers have pale skin but didn’t realize it was so damn thin. Andy Dalton’s take was as weak as his play in primetime games.

I’m glad for stories like this because it reminds me that even professional athletes can be super huge losers, too.

J.J. Watt would definitely be pulling you over for going 58 in a 55 had this football thing not worked out

Nicknames shouldn’t be a play on your name or numbers. Not a fan of names like A-Rod or CP3.

Crisp snacks ‘n Pringles

Pozzy Bear

DARTH ZINGAS