Its that moment in Jurassic Park where Ian Malcolm tells them that they were so busy figuring out whether or not they could do something that they never stopped to wonder whether or not they should. There’s a complete lack of accountability in baseball (and perhaps professional sports in general). What can be done in…

My high school coach was the scandal. Left his wife and married the girl who babysat for them.

He asked if it was loaded, was told it was not, and then RACKED THE SLIDE before shooting out the window.

If they forfeit the rest of their games, the band is, I guess, in jeopardy(ish). The band marches at half-time of each football game. No game, no half-time performance. That’s the best I got. 

Do not pass Geaux. Watch your buddy’s friend collect $200

Theres a dude guy a Coke can in hand who extends his hand over the definitely-not-ok-dude for several seconds as he lays motionless. Is he the Bills Mafia faith healer? Has he remained resolutely sober for such a time as this???

My first game to watch in person happened to be Kenny’s perfecto, complete with Rusty’s catch to preserve the thing. I loved that place. Its where my wife and I took our first real date when we got back together after college. Funnily enough, that first game back got flooded out and, as many of our great memories are…

The type of projectile launched in Buffalo is definitely intended to penetrate it’s target, but is usually pink and vibrates

Is there anything jets-ier than, “you had me at posterior-induced miscue.”

Minshew gets them to the playoffs, Foles comes back, takes over, and they win the... Wait, the Jags??? My bad, NVM

Your calculations fail to take into account the ones made by Jerry Jones based entirely on “how much face-time will this get me in media circles.” Other than that, spot-on assessment.

Someone needs to start digging a 6 foot deep hole for Fitztragic.

The phrase “ I think that’s what needs to be said” just makes everything after it feel like disingenuous damage control.

They play Denver the last week of December. In Denver. Denver. In December. I hope is 0 degrees and snowy. His feet will fall off.

Earl Weaver might have kicked his shins. He'd have dislocated his leg trying to kick Davis's ass. Wouldn't have stopped him from trying

That isn't a rangers hat. It's a Texas Tech hat... 

I’d wager my bank account that he’s got a blue lives matter flag in at least two places on his 12 inch lifted 2008 2wd F150

Buffalo gets the “in-stadium blowjob” fans. D.C. gets the “low-key wanking” fans. LA and NY get the “don’t give a shit, just here for the networking" fans. Most other fanbases choose to pick their fights with fans of other teams. Why the hell do we have the "take-your-white-supremacy-to-the-ballpark" fans.

100% chance that guy gets signed by John Gruden just to inspire Derek Carr to "give it 110%." 

Wll w talk about cultural appropriation when Yankees fans begin doing “the chop?”