I can't figure out if this is supposed to be a "Young Tom Cruise" vehicle, or a "Young Paul Newman" vehicle, or a "Young Tom Cruise vehicle trapped inside an Old Paul Newman vehicle, trapped inside of 'Footloose II: Days of Thunder, Grapes of Wrath'. "

What?

It's terrible that someone could be so selfish, egotistical, and evil as to hurl (or pay someone to hurl) acid in someone else's face out of jealousy over a position. I feel like the person behind this should suffer something equally as terrible.

Really? We mention kitty's haunting eyes, but not kitty's GlamourShots paw-to-chin-and-staring-into-the-future-contemplatively pose?

tl;dr, indeed. That was addressed in the last 3rd of the article.

I think they're going to go with the modern, twinked-out version of Joe Simpson, so it will most likely be Tim Allen or Bob Saget in a Carey Mulligan wig.

Ok but is that £14.2K tax-free? Because if not, they're practically forcing me to garner a side income by leaking gossip to the Daily Mirror/OK!/Sun. Plus, I bet I'm not allowed to have people over, or make eyes at Harry, or corner Princess Shinylocks and make her share her lustrous hair secrets with me at the…

The only thing that surefire helps me turn that frown upside-down is BABIES!!!, but it's a 2-step process:

Is it possible to slip through alternate/parallel universes and not know it? Because I swear that sometime in 2012, I read/heard/believed to ScarJo was knocked up with Sean Penn's child.

I thought the dress was dull (but still MUCH better than Natalie Portman's), but other than that, I would be down for this wedding. When the songs start to get on my nerves, I'd slip out with a few friends to my car for a "Weed & Meat" break. My only problem would revolve around how to keep 5-10 pounds of honey BBQ…

Ha! Count me as #3 in favor of WSU Cougar cheese!

Season 1 of American Horror Story is great... as long as your mom or grandma arent in the room.

Lol, awesome

On that note:

I love using the word "cunt". I don't even equate it with lady parts anymore.

Did Zac Posen do something to his face? He looks decidedly less like a Love child of Marlo Brando & Chuck Bass (i.e.: scalding hot) and more like Rupert Everett.

My outer Gay boy is wondering where the rest of this Corbin Fisher holiday pictorial is hiding, and if somehow Chase Crawford is involved in it too.

Is it too late to order this book as a White Elephant gift?

I know I'm a bad conversationalist. I'm very soft-spoken and I must live like 3 levels inside my own head, so it's hard for anything to escape to the outside world. Most things that come out of my mouth are run through several filters, so I never even pick up on the opportunities to interject an anecdote or properly…

Wait, ummm what was that about the talk talk talking and yap yap yapping again?