The WWE’s extremely vague wellness policy interests me. They suspend wrestlers and never explain why. None of them seem like works, either. (If anyone knows anything about that, please email me at samer@deadspin.com)

Because our audience is very, very interested in the WWE.

Wait, you’ll watch an entire Bobcats-Kings game?

It says a lot when political correctness is one of your major issues. Nothing good, but a lot.

I hear we picked up Ashley Feinberg in the contraction draft. Good five tool writer, a bit of a GLORY GIRL though.

The No. 2 won the Money In The Bank ladder match. Therefore guaranteeing himself a shot against No. 1 whenever he wants. Pretty common knowledge, if you ask me.

And now he’s going to be disqualified for having the runs.

We have sexual harassment training today, I should ask if it would be considered harassment to drive this to work.

Official statement by Ryan Lochte:

Benjeahzi.

the four swimmers spoke to U.S. State Department officials and they agreed to shut up. Almost immediately after the briefing, Lochte “walked across the street” and gave an interview

Ah, the old old ball game.

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Surprised he wasn’t hit by: a battery, a snowball intended for Santa, a bud lite lime dodged by Ryan Howard, a stream of forced vomit, a tazer, a McNabb worm-burner, a Bednarik clothesline, a muddy waters cheap shot or a bounty hit ordered by Buddy.

*reads headline*

“Oh man, you and me both, brother.”

- Paul Konerko, thinking it said:

Can the “Why your team sucks” be updated?
This season is going to be a shit show

After the Raven’s won their second super bowl, I turned to my dad who grew up in Buffalo and said something about being thankful I was born in Maryland. I wasn’t trying to taunt him because of the Bills or Sabres but he just muttered “...yeah” and gave me a look that to this day is the most empty thing I have ever…

Bills tailgates are what happens when you let wildlings travel south of the wall. I would have stabbed Jon Snow too.