An 02 Mercury is too flashy? The light shining off the nice paint job blinded him from reality and common decency, I guess.

They *are* better than legs, unless they’ve figured out some way to apply the burning, searing pain of lactic acid to the blades.

He should replace it with something classier, like a caddy (spokeslady not included.)

charged with inserting foreign objects into its sausages

HOT TAKE: Having springs for legs is a bigger competitive advantage than being on cocaine when it comes to running fast.

On the one hand I like that the senior member of the Lollipop Guild is getting shit on by a big dummy like Trump every day and hope it eats him alive at night.

That’s coal-blooded.

No thanks.

It was a landmark bar back in its day, but it hadn’t aged well and service was never a strong point. I’m not sorry to see it go.

I have never loved the Eagles more than I love the Eagles right now.

What I love about this is that he will almost singlehandedly end the tradition. Next up he will bar the NFL from even playing the anthem so that players can’t protest it, and we will all be free of these stupid traditions

Reminds me of that W. Kamau Bell line: “You know gentrification is bad when white people start complaining about it. ‘I remember when that coffee shop WAS A DIFFERENT COFFEE SHOP!!!!’”

I hate that this makes potentially good business sense. We really are living in the darkest possible future.

Birds and glass ceilings are an accident waiting to happen.

Luxury cars are a social construct!

According to a local news report by CTV Vancouver, feral peacocks are “bearing powerful beaks and talons against luxury cars”

Okay, but where are the peahens, huh? Once again a socialist revolution completely ignores issues of sex and gender, creating a narrative of a united peacock class without taking seriously the complaints that some peabirds are advantaged simply by virtue of their sex!

“I’m not gonna respond to a letter from the president’s outside counsel.”

I am going to watch this in my living room by myself because I’m one of those kids from the 70s who was basically raised by Mister Rogers and I can’t imagine watching something like this around other people.