Cool story, bro.

The election hasn’t even been certified. What in his history makes you think he won’t work his ass off for the poor? Just read this from the CNN article:

Except that’s not true. He absolutely should not say that. He barely beat a fucking pedophile because of black voters. If he plays to the right, he will not pick up any more white people, and he will lose the people who elected him.

He kinda has to say that from day one, though, if he wants to be more than a single-term senator. He barely beat a fucking pedophile. Next guy they throw at him won’t be as overtly an evil shit head.

Hmm, flying in and out of O’Hare this week. Maybe I’ll grab food there when I return to the city. If I’m not of the typical “fuck it, I just want to go home” mindset. Which I probably will be.

I didn’t know this was a secret. There is also an Android app.

Yes! And when Poe himself, Mr. Damn The Torpedoes, was like “Shit, this is stupid as hell, let’s get the fuck outta here!”

When the plucky band of misfits with tiny, beaten-up shitmobiles can’t actually defeat the vastly superior technology of their evil foes and have to, like, sneak out the back.

Kywin Supernaw

Totally understandable that no one wants to look at the Bears roster, but I would submit Cre’Von LeBlanc and Prince Amukamara as similarly “creative”

Goddammit someone pointed out on Twitter that I left Kam Chancellor off this list and I am considering resigning my post in disgrace.

God, that fucking ruled.

Mega plus for the name alone

What the actual fuck is that guy trying to say? No, seriously, not in a, “Boy, that guy’s point is bad” way, but in a more literal, “What the actual fuck is that guy trying to say” way.

I thought that was the inauguration crowd. My mistake.

I feel like you missed the best one, where Poe Dameron, dashing space flyboy, pulls a mutiny on the cold and frigid new commander who’s obviously not as a good a choice as him in his own mind, and it turns out he’s the asshole, not the hero.

Also when hyperdrive kamikaze rendered basically every other form of space warfare obsolete

Following Lucas’s logic, he’d be a detective.

Retired General D’Brickashaw Ferguson of the First Order is FURIOUS he’s not on this list

Zack Zenner totally sounds like a pod racing alien.