Careful what you wish for; that product has some serious design flaws they never worked out in beta testing.

Onions are about STRENGTH, about PERSEVERANCE. They are CHARACTER-BUILDING. Tear-free onions are for weak fake food, like what you get from McDonalds, in a TV dinner, or the unholy abomination that is Campbell's French Onion Soup.

If they're not more expensive I shall get some and report back.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that this level of self-absorption has found its way to the people living in CHELSEA.

Well "Jimmy" is also a slang term for Penis (although not really used anymore), so it really makes perfect sense. But Howard Johnsons would have been funny too.

I fixed their ad.

I love the fact that we're all looking at that picture and seeing the same thing.

It looks like a sunburned penis wrapped in a deep-fried vulva.

Go home, KFC. You're drunk.

WHY DO YOU HATE THE MAGICAL DELIGHT THAT IS PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA?!?! Do you hate yourself?!

That guy definitely works/ worked in hospitality himself, only a person who has been there themselves would consider the importance of the extra topping fee.

I'm going to use this as a platform to say—is anyone else mildly bothered when someone (everyone?) calls them "peppercinis", completely dropping a syllable?

When making jokes about the horrors of pizza, never carry more than 20 dollars cash, and always make your delivery deadpan.

stop body shaming

Fish are not meant to be hairy. Anchovies are a monstrosity.

No lie: I ate pizza tonight.

Well, to turn to one of his exes, don't you know that he's toxic?

"they then went into some bullshit mouthfart spiel about regularly eating at fine dining "
They used a Groupon. Somehow I don't believe them.

Starcrunch at #2 is a statement I can get behind but Nutty bars at #17 is me giving you the *side-eye* of thinking olives are bad. In other words, NOPE.