Don't Trust The Kevin In Apartment 27

*Jeremy Irons sadly kicks a can down the road*

If we give up the dental plan . . . I’ll have to pay for Ruby Rose’s back surgery!

Well, ‘Link’s Awakening’ hasn’t inspired a tonne of memes, has it?

Yeah, I thought that was one of the main reasons that so many rappers release free “mixtapes,” often even after they get famous. Once your signed your label might pay for some samples, but on a free mixtape you can go full Paul’s Boutique to your heart’s content.

It’s virtually impossible for a note like this to come off as anything but creepy to a young woman bartending.

Another alternative, if you want to say thanks without coming off as weird is to write a note to the manager.  There’s a risk the manager wouldn’t share the note with K but even if they don’t, you’re still giving kudos without coming across as creepy.  If they do share it, bonus.  Now K knows you both appreciate her…

According to a translation from The Washington Post, he told Le Parisien, “I stopped, got out of the car and went to meet him. I wanted to know what a naked man was doing 300 meters from my home.”

Yeah, I think Salty’s recommendation of “Thanks for making me feel so welcome here at K’s Bar.” is about perfect.

Unemployed guys with drinking problems are truly our most eligible bachelors.

I think there are better ways to honor an actress than a twee collector’s toy for maladjusted adults

Well, there’s Gangsta rap in the background, so I’d say 50-cent percent.

Wow, way to deny your daughter’s wish to see Do The Right Thing.

I believe that got snubbed last year.

for every comment about the “wrong crowd” of joker fans i’ve seen, there have been about 10 comments like yours saying that the libs are trying to sink this movie by not being objective or whatever.

This is damn good writing, A.A. It resonated with me in many ways. Like you, it seems, I grew up in a household that could be kindly described as volatile, under the thumb of a cruel and violent stepfather and a mother who encouraged and occasionally participated in what he did. And also like you, I first read IT at…

It was fun laughing about this until it struck me that there are literally tens of millions of people for whom this is some real, no-bullshit, truth bomb cinema, then I just got sad. 

Strategic kitten reserves are a staple of any good party.

Except working in fast food actually does require skills. Knowing what to cook and when is a skill. Making sandwiches quickly and accurately is a skill. Keeping your cool during a rush is a skill. And not just anyone can be trusted to reliably show up for their shifts on time and sober.