The music video for that song is Michael Bay’s finest work. And yes, I will die on this hill.

I use the patent office website. That’s at least twice as hackerish because it’s on the internet.

It doesn’t take me a few weeks, but five or so consecutive days off every month or two keeps my high from becoming, like, “you’re so tolerant that weed has become a maintenance thing instead of a fun thing.” I’ve heard similar — although with varied durations — from a lot of people who smoke weed, so you’re definitely…

That's the one!

I swear to God, if Demi Lovato comes for my beloved Dippin’ Dots. . . . 

Smallest currently available, surely?

You might be overstating the cultural reach of “Waking Life.”

Just push the button, Frank.

Silver lining — this will have a secondary effect of reducing the Republican party’s overall wealth, because all that old money sure as shit isn’t gonna let their kid break the family’s Ivy League dynasty.

Probably the “gay hairdresser” stereotype has something to do with it.

This goof dishonors the good name of Franks from Minnesota.

I’ll check that out. I haven’t watched nearly enough Rifftrax.

I dunno about “Side Hackers.” Joel’s approach to riffing was certainly a terrible fit, but I’m not sure Mike would have done much better, because the experiment’s failure has less to do with the format and more to do with how “Side Hackers” the movie is just absolutely vile.

It’s utterly a losing battle, too. Trying to tell people not to get horny about fictional characters goes against the internet’s entire being, and it will reject that kind of prudishness like a bad organ transplant.

I should watch this again, because the only part I really remember is Tom Servo’s disgusting pigsty of a room strewn with men’s underwear. That’s just one of those images that stays with you for your entire life.

My job forced me to attend his funeral on my own dime.

Maybe there’s a place in Vegas that lets you toss grenades at trucks? It can’t be any more dangerous than letting Drunk Bridesmaid Number Six operate a giant piece of industrial machinery or whatnot.

I shot a promotional video a while back for a local historical society, and they gave us access pretty much to their entire collection, one item being a doctor’s medicine kit from I think the 1920s or thenabouts.

Don’t tell anyone, but I’m on set of the third “Joe Dirt."

Wait — so by that logic, we’d have to stop calling it “America?” I knew it! Republicans really do hate America!