Here you go Hillary:

Women only care about football because of the hot guys.

I can never look at Bob Saget the same after seeing him perform the Aristocrats. Yeeeesh.

Damn, you comment made me well up a bit. You mom is fucking awesome.

My mom's a lunch lady for a school in Utah, and the district absolutely pressures her to pull this kind of shit. They call the parents, send notes home, and give the students a few days warning. Still, if their parents are flat broke and/or don't speak English, this kind of stuff happens. My mom doesn't give a fuck,…

Yes, my SodaStream is giving me political seizures.

That is adorable! I have a boyfriend who excitedly greets all cats with the greeting "Cat!" (English is his second language) honestly, it slays me. Too cute.

Ugh... I had 3 weeks of concerts to give on a cruise ship about two years ago and ended up catching noro (which yeah, this totally sounds like). I have never been so sick in all my life!!

For a second, I thought this was the picture of Justin Bieber's dad and it did indeed explain so much.

I look forward to Beiber's mug shots.

She justifies (??) my secret (???) glitter addiction. She's fabulous.

Modern dating has really ruined the word "fun."

At last. The return of the fanny pack. I knew I would be vindicated someday.

Bitch, please—Gywneth Paltrow's lemonade is sweetened only by Tracy Anderson's tears.

I know it exists, I know it happens, but — like those insane people who touch Black hair — I still sort of can't believe that breastfeeding judgement goes on. It's real but it's ree dick you luss.

I prefer this one.

SHUT UP SAUL IS NOT DYING.

he looks high.

I'm still not sure why more people don't LOVE her - her music is so fun & smart! She's playing the Apollo in Harlem, and I really want to go see her (but tix are $40)...

I hated Fashion Star, and yet I watched it pathologically.