I think the hardest part about becoming a cyclops is the awkward transition period.

This man doesn’t age, does he?

By the way, I always want more dust on my chip, so why doesn’t Frito-Lay just sell extra dust separately? Sell it by the can. It could be like a powdery dip. Yes, it would kill me. But this is America and I want it.

To me, the most grating part is how Minnie pronounces Pluto. She calls him Plew-Toe, preciously enunciating each syllable. Not Ploo-doh like normal people (and the rest of the cast). It’s maddening.

Hmm. I would describe her as Flo from Progressive.

...unless you have an ice maker or whole house humidifier running.

There’s nothing in the rulebook that says a giraffe can’t play football!

I usually roll my eyes when I read comments citing building code over minor oversights. But this time, I totally agree: that’s going to end badly for someone walking on that deck.

The cost/value tradeoff just wasn’t there for me. For the few shows I enjoyed watching on a regular basis, I couldn’t justify paying $60+ month. I get most of my content now through Netflix and a rooftop antenna.

Don’t be such a fothermucker.

I need to read this poem.

The preferred terminology is Boehner-American.

RABIES

This.

Fuck you, buddy.

I blot my 2-year-old’s pizza, not for health reasons, but because he makes such a damn mess of eating no matter what. No reason to add extra grease to the equation.

Is it easier to yell bigoted bullshit without a shirt on?

Crystal Diamond sounds like a Saturday-morning-cartoon superheroine. Boomba and Critter would be her anthropomorphic animal sidekicks.

This is the pained smile of a flight attendant saying her one millionth “Buh-bye!”

She looks like a t-tex here.