I’m on board with this take.

A friend of mine once told me that the Food Network was a top ten activity for college and recently-out-of-college stoners. 

I love the “on sale” analogy. When I was a paid investment salesperson, I used the following example:

And all it cost you was a kidney, right?

Being someone who is a side sleeper and weighs in at almost 300 pounds, I’d also like to see the long term reviews. I find that my ‘hip dip’ in the mattress usually starts about 1 year in, and just gets worse and worse until I give up and buy another one.

That means that in about 18 months, every car manufacturer is going to compare their offerings to the current bloated marked of SUVs?

This wasn’t mine, but was a very similar shade of yellow.

Toyota knows what they’ve got.

The Ministry of Truth approves.

If he doesn’t like playing with the new helmets, let him play without wearing a helmet at all. 

When I worked fast food 30+ years ago, our daily routine for cleaning the glass carafes was a healthy portion of salt (3-4 tablespoons), about a lemon’s worth of juice (and the wedges that the juice came from), and just a little water swirled around in the bottom of the carafe until all the nastiness was gone. A quick…

I know what I’ve got. 

Isn’t the answer to most everything thermite? And thermite isn’t the answer, I believe that the answer is 42. 

To the 12 year old me starting his first job:

All three of them are offended by your comment. 

I have this. The description (or photo) does not adequately indicate that this is designed to be mounted on a wall.

I have this. The description (or photo) does not adequately indicate that this is designed to be mounted on a wall.

And once they acquire their next level of rust, you’ll offer to take them off his hands, right?

100% this. I cannot understand in any way, shape, or form why my wife insists on using the local contacts manager on her phone and struggling to transfer them to a new phone every 3 years. She looks on in amazement when I get a new phone, log in to Google, and have everything I need in 5 minutes or less. 

Unfortunately, with one tweet, Trump will lay the blame for the coming recession at the feet of an Obama-era policy, absolving himself of any responsibility. And the minions will eat it up.