Esiason. If she was referring to Chris Berman, she would have said, "Let's let Boomer handle those between chow-downs."

That is by far the funniest thing I've read all day. You win all the internets, Carrie Hunt and the Spoonerisms.

Exactly. I'm sick of servers complaining that about people not leaving them OPTIONAL FUCKING TIPS. HELLO??? DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIP MEANS?

That against any sort of laws? Attorneys are paid to help their client, not empress you with their ethics.

Attorney Does His Job: article from Deadspin full of hot and fresh hot takes coming soon.

Their earlier tweets are pretty corny and tone-deaf. But, to be fair, they say that delivery is 90% of comedy, and DiGiorno doesn't do delivery.

These apologies would seem more sincere if Pizza didn't already have a history of domestic violence, which has led to copycat crimes being committed by the Moon.

Wow, so many apologies in a row; it's like he's in the Cal-zone!

I told you yesterda, I'll tell you again today: you're fucking stupid. You realize that both the NFL and the Ravens have scads of well-paid, very good lawerly types who were mobilized to deal with the DA and other law enforcement officials in regard to this whole situation. Rice is a "first time offender" in the legal…

Chris Brown? Oh, no video.

Guess you missed the Madden where Vick went to jail and he was put on injury list but you had the option to still put him in a exhibition game, If you wanted to.

Alright, here we go: I'm*, defending*, Ray*, Rice*, (missed a comma between "Rice" and "he"), (missed a period after "jail"), I'm*, that's*, (missed a period here I think? The flow of everything got just a little hard to follow here), Everyone*, NFL*, (should be a conjunction here instead of a comma. I would…

In before the "Black People don't tip" bullshit.

I am black, and so are many of my friends. We all tip 20-30% when we go out. When I don't tip 20%+ because of these stupid sterotypes, I have to call over the manager and the server and explain why (I never tip below 10%).

I don't really care about football, but I also don't really care about women. Is there some way I can use these two facts to make myself feel morally superior to everyone else without really accomplishing anything?

Janet, your joking about why she decided to stay? Its simple, C.R.E.A.M.

Drew, I enjoy these a lot and wonder why you don't do Why Your Team Sucks for the NBA and MLB. Is it because you're mainly a football fan and/or don't care about the other sports? I think it would be interesting to hear how shitty the teams in ALL sports are. In any case, keep up the good work.

This just happened:

Dana White has become a buffoon who needs to removed from the UFC so it can get to the next level it is trying to attain. Nothing personal, but much like a startup often goes through three phases of CEO (the first who has an idea and gets it started, the second who grows the fanbase through aggressive marketing, and…

Great...all coming from a guy who held out for a full season in 1997 because he didn't want to sign his franchise tender of $3.4 million. He was thus rewarded by being traded the following year and signing a new 7 year deal worth over $45 million at the time.

Josh Shaw out: heroism.