it wasn’t my first incident.

I drew a dick in white-out on a girl named Brittany’s dark blue, monogrammed backpack in 7th grade (using the B as the balls and drawing the shaft out to the left behind it, of course) and got suspended for three weeks. My dad made me mow the lawn every single day because he didn’t know how else to punish me. It was a…

To be fair, he did try to give her the D, it just got intercepted and taken back for 6.

I never thought I’d say this, but I’m actually not mad at Tebow for this. He said “no sex before marriage” roughly a bazillion times in a kajillion different media outlets. She has every right to get some, but it’s not like he hid the plan.

On the one hand, I’m super sympathetic because it’s obvious she’s in tremendous pain and needs help. But on the other hand, I have a super toxic mom and for my own sanity have to keep her away from me and this is precisely the shit she’s pull to try and get attention from me. (She let my abusive ex husband move in…

My experience says no.

Seriously though. If someone came up to me and was like ‘Hey girl, you want to put a puzzle together’ I might actually be interested. That is swoon worthy game right there.

Garlicky scallops, scalloped scallops, seared scallops with lemon, ALL THE SCALLOPS. We should form a club.

I love scallops. All scallops. Scalloped hems. Diver Scallops. Scalloped Potatoes. All the scallops.

“I have allergies and they make me sneeze.”

I just started a new job a week ago. Went to a training day a couple of days ago but everyone else on the training day had been in their post a few months, as opposed to four days. I hadn’t even been put on the company system or had any of the documents and I didn’t know any of the job terminology or have access to…

Yeah, some nights Mr. Bells’ insomnia gets the better of him and he’ll stay up really late. I’ll wake up at 2am to an empty bed and be unable to sleep until he comes back. I can fall asleep fine without him, but I can’t STAY asleep.

This is my thing. I know we sleep better apart, but when I wake up and Mr CatCheese isn’t there, I am legitimately saddened.

Damn! I did nazi that coming!

Regular paternity leave would actually do a lot toward removing the stigma of maternity leave. Employers still think of having and raising children as a “women’s issue,” and consider women getting pregnant a liability, while assuming men who have children won’t have to take time off or change their work habits because…

I work at a multinational company. I have to say it pisses me off that my company can accommodate government mandated leave schemes in other countries but still opts to fuck over those of us in the States.

Every time I see the name Riff Raff, I think about Rocky Horror Picture Show.

This is clearly a defective menstrual cup that has been repurposed, right??

I wrote him in, because YUP.

Anything he did to me while sleeping would be in my dreams so...