"You guys know about vampires?" Diaz asked. "You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There's this idea that monsters don't have reflections in a mirror. And what I've always thought isn't that monsters don't have reflections in a mirror. It's that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny…

I'm sure Joe Manganiello is a cool guy, but every time I see his face I think, "That is a man who has to fart really bad."

You can watch Season 1 for free if you have Amazon Prime!

GIRL, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN.

That smile tho

gimme dis

And all of us with curls who grew up (i.e. spent the next 45 years of their life) wishing for straight hair would LOVE to trade with you! It's a deal— you can have my mad-scientist curls, I'll have your gravity-obeying hair.

Me, too. Baby hair. Does nothing except be straight and fine.

I like the dress and colour, but I LOVE your name HamHocks4Legs!!!

Thirded! Simple, non-fussy, clean lines, great colors, flattering. If she'd worn a polished elaborate updo or a bunch of big flashy jewelry it'd look dated, but styled like this, it's GREAT.

This is where I confess that Team Jezebel contributed to this state of affairs, because we pre-ordered nine tickets to see this absurd cultural document on opening night

It has the sales staff at theaters busy. They're all tied up.

"Barbie mattresses"

Genuinely lol'ing. Also, now I know what I need to send Barbie on a sleepover next time I babysit my friend's kids.

2015 Oscar Nominations Snub Basically Everybody Who Isn't a White Dude

Liposuction as a prize for a beauty contest? Literally, "You are the most beautiful person out of all the contestants and you're still not good enough."

Me: I'm white and I do tend to shower every day. But that's only because I try to run every day. If I don't run, it wouldn't bother me to skip.

Yeah, that's ... in a work situation I think that would be very very different. Shifting alliances, much more likely those vulnerabilities could be used against you; all that.

And people with douchey vanity plates. I got cut off the other day by a car with a license plate saying "GR8EST." I don't remember what kind of car it was but I'll bet you all a Honda that it was a BMW.

I also hate tall cats.