Well, you would have had the perfect answer to the question.

I can see this making people fall in love. But does it help them stay in love? If this only helps you meet the love of your next week and a half, eh, I'll pass.

Hmmm. Didn't Jodie Foster make that film just before she got pregnant by mysterious sperm donor? Hmmm. Doesn't McConaughey's beard prove that he has a recessive redheaded gene? Hmmm. Don't both Jodie Foster's kids have red hair?

commenting to help you get seen more, because seriously... Oprah's response to that was PER-FECTION. Also, I want my cranberry candle.

To be fair, at first I thought that's where they were going with it as well, until they made it clear that he might be getting pranked back. I think it was just a delayed reaction.

That shit was incredible.

Ha! ooooh yeah, I was trying to figure out why he did that! Now it makes sense.

I think it's awesome bc you can use that against him for the rest of time. Like the time Mr. melted the plastic onto a lasagna because he thinks he's too good for instructions. That happened 9 years ago and it comes up at least once a month. Gold.

I once severed my tongue (did you know they could reattach those?) in a library, on the first day after their renovations (I ended up volunteering there 15 years later, it was apparently legend.) I tripped and bit it clear off.

Dislocated my jaw by yawning.

I yawned my face off.

Once, in a fit of teenage rage, I sliced the entire bottom of my foot off walking up the stone steps of our laundry room. And through my incredible teenage rage, I didn't register the pain or blood and walked around my carpeted house with my foot bleeding so profusely, my parents' came home from a meeting to find me…

That is where mind went. It's next to their binders full of women.

This really sucks.

A black man can be shot by police holding a toy gun being sold at Walmart, and a toddler can shoot his mom with a real gun at Walmart.

The fanny pack answer is pretty sly but not in the way you think.

I terminated a very wanted pregnancy at 26 weeks gestation in June. My daughter had a genetic duplication and abnormalities that would have ensured that her life was brief and painful, had she even survived the rest of pregnancy and birth. If I was not extremely privileged to have excellent health insurance and enough…

Look, I love me some Nalgene for its indestructableness, but it is not the best water bottle. I say this as a person who undoubtedly has used Nalgenes more than most, as I was attending wilderness college during the height of Nalgene-mania. The bottle is unwieldy and hard to grip for small hands. There is a 50% chance…

Look, I love me some Nalgene for its indestructableness, but it is not the best water bottle. I say this as a person…

NOT IN FLORIDA. This is my official duty now.

I tried last year and ended up with slightly cool Thin Mints. I remain hopeful for this year though. If at first you don't succeed, at least you have a tummy full of cookies!