For all intensive purposes, I think he’ll do just fine.

Nothing good comes from seeing people driving invisible cars.

Uh, Donald, FC Kansas City didn’t exactly come from nowhere. They had like three USWNT players including arguably the best female defender in the world.

In fairness (not to Trump, or Missouri, just in general), the Chiefs are in Missouri.

Hey Timothy... not sure if you knew this... Kansas City is in Missouri (and by default, so is their football team, the Chiefs).

Don’t the Chiefs also play in Missouri? They had a pretty decent year.

Um, here’s a fact. The oldest professional football team in Missouri has and always was the Kansas City Chiefs. Located at Arrowhead Drive, Kansas City, MISSOURI.

What?? “Missouri has watched it’s NFL team depart?” Sorry morons, but Missouri has another - and much better - NFL team: the Kansas City Chiefs. Learn about your football teams, Deadspin, before you criticize someone else for not knowing their teams.

“Watched its NFL team depart for Los Angeles”

Also Chiefs but whatever

This will be a tough challenge, citizen. On one robotic hand, people watched her streams because of the sex appeal she has, the main selling point of watching her streams, much like people enjoyed watching me get blown to pieces by small arms fire.

Even though the concept of a United States of America didn’t exist until the late 18th Century.

this seems like a reasonable analysis. just wanted to say that.

They should trade for Mike Glennon.

(penalty handed down)

“Since I was a teenager, it had been a rollercoaster ride of shame and justification as I was on and off with this addiction.”

The Eagles front office right now.

I wanna fly like an eagle, to Tennessee.
Fly like an Eagle and immediately forget me.

The NFL has fined Williams 50K for using pink looking emoji’s outside of the month of October.

Ah, you’re right. I shouldn’t post this stuff because some of you might have seen it already. Fuck everybody else who hasn’t and comes here to see this stuff, it’s all about you. My bad for saving this for a few days so I could have something to post on days I’m working on longer stories.