I’m 5’5” and currently somewhere around 175 pounds. It’s been hot as balls here lately, and when my friends suggested we go swim? I WORE A BIKINI TOP.

I think a lot of older women are the ones telling us to cover up.

Is it an unpopular opinion to suggest that actual cheese lovers have nothing to worry about?

887-2. That’s insane.

Can you imagine what it must be like to be one of those “and two” wrestlers? Two people were able to tell a story to their children that almost defied belief.

Tennis just isn’t the sort of game where players are going to utterly “dominate” in terms of winning all their own serves and breaking all their opponents’ serves. There is an inherent advantage to serving in the sport, and the uphill part, the hardest thing to do—and what ultimately determines the winner—is breaking…

Aleksandr Karelin 887-2, she’s got a long, long ways to go.

No, it’s not merely about bigger numbers. But I do think that numbers matter. I mean, if we’re going to say that all you have to do is win a perfect 11 fights in your career, and win them in dominant fashion, and suddenly you’re more dominant than a woman who’s won 720+ tennis matches, and has 22 titles notched in her…

I will fight this duck you speak of.

So her sister was an “Urban Guerrilla” but all Victoria has become is a pearl clutcher?

I don’t get it. So porn for men is, you know, actual porn like photos and video of sex acts. According to Hearst, porn for women is sex tips? Now like any decent human I’m against advising grown women to eat a donut off their partner’s “member”, but I don’t think that advice is actually porn.

I’m no fan of Cosmo, but this is stupid.

Cosmo published a sex secret that was giving a man an indian dick burn. For all the foreskin they destroyed they should no longer be visible anywhere!

This is such goddamn fucking puritanical bullshit. It has me so irritated and incredulous that I can’t form a good response. Fuck this fucking shit.

People who inherit gobs of money that can’t find anything better than crap like this to devote their time and funds to are just sad.

At the retail store I work at we store the real pornographic stuff at a kid’s eye level. That’s where all the food magazines go. Ten different magazines to tell you how to make some kind of really good looking (but probably disgusting) seasonal cake.

Cosmo encourages readers to have hookup sex with strangers, attend sex parties, attempt positions that are known to leave physical damage, and more. Many doctors have advised against these “tips” from Cosmo, yet their words of warning remain silenced and ignored.

Yeah... I figured that. But “security detail for Chris Brown on a go-go board” has to be incredibly demeaning and soul sucking. Like, worse than my job. And I’m head speech writer for Trump 2016.

I saw a guy parallel park his Bentley coupe outside my office, get this thing out of the passenger seat, hop on, and ride roughly 8 paces into a Subway. I’ve been trying to process it since.

Gotta nuke something...

On twitter there is weightloss tea (Bootea!!), a cream to make your boobs bigger and a cream (or tea, I don’t remember) to give you abs.