I feel like this needs to be a cross site effort with Deadspin Bears and Dogs.  A good pig.  

This Vikings team is so much fun to watch for us diehards....Talented WR’s, a stout defense, and FINALLY, a QB!! Even a kicker!!

I can’t wait to see how they will rip my guts out this year...

Thielen:
Everybody’s doing it. It’s the cool thing.

I’m right there with you. If those fans has yelled ‘THIS IS FOR YOUR SHITTY LIFE DECISION AND NOT FOR BEING A CHIEF,” then I’d really have no issue.

That is the Ken Hitchcock of football. Good lord

All Massachusetts male sports fans act this way. They’re fucking disgusting.

Guys, it’s not Patriots fans who suck. It’s people from Massachusetts. 

Personally, I prefer a muff to a scarf.

We told you to shave those sideburns, Mattingly!

I dunno. White guys with dreadlocks are usually pretty insufferable. 

So, Americans who served in the military “own” the flag more than the rest of us. Got it.

You don’t speak for all veterans. Veterans do not get to decide what the flag/anthem mean to the citizens of this country.

Just when I thought I couldn’t like Simone more.

I’m a Leafs fan and Kessel is still my favorite player. Steve Simmons completely made up the whole hot dog story but his paper sucks so he still has a job. Phil, on the other hand, has two Cup rings and got name-checked by Barack Obama at the White House. Advantage Kessel.

If Neville Chamberlain wasn’t his father we’d have never heard of little Wilt. 

It took me a minute and then I was like... Oh. I know what this is. Nice one. It’s been too long.

Spoiler: it’s 63 different types of blowjobs.

The worst part? Roethlisberger is the father.  

For those who wanted the author to write about awful Kadyrov is, he has covered it a few times. On this very site:

When you get cancer lemme know and i’ll make some jokes we’ll see how you feel about it